Tired

I'm just really tired today. I was really tired yesterday. I just can't seem to help feeling tired no matter what I try. I try working out. I try creative projects. I try sleeping in and staying in bed and resting. But no matter how hard I try nothing is really doing the trick to kick this fatigue.
I had a Doctor appointment this past week. She drew (what felt like) a liter of my blood. I didn't feel so hot after. But I am hoping that this doctor will know what the next step should be. She seems good. Facts based but whatever. It's a good thing I put all my medical records together and a time line and looked over all my blood work so that I was prepared for the appointment. I have a follow up in a month. I'm not hoping for anything. I don't want to be disappointed. But I am hoping that she will make a plan for me whatever the blood work shows. Here's hoping for a little Christmas miracle :)

self portrait

So, not gonna lie. I hate when other people take my picture because it never looks the way I want it to. After an exhausting, long, and stressful weekend I decided to cut my body a break and take today off. (Thank heavens I am jobless so I can do self care when I need to and not when there is time to. If I didn't take this break today, there is a really good chance my body would have broken down this week. I felt it coming on this morning.) So, part of my self care today was taking pictures by the railroad tracks near my house. I've been wanting to do this for weeks because of the colors outsdie right now with fall. So, I took my tripod (which happens to be for a video camera that is from the mid nineties, but whateve's I can recycle. My camera fits on it so who the freak cares). And so I went out with puppy in tow and took some pictures. I didn't love all of them but it was nice to get a couple pics of me that I don't hate :)
Oh and of course I got some pics of the puppy, let's be real, she's like my baby...totally pathetic, I know.




Yay for me. except when I uploaded this pic I was like dang those buttons cause the jacket is partially hanging open. Oh well.





You have no idea but it takes Jedi Mind Tricks to keep this dog sitting in a position when I have to walk away from her to take a picture. But she held out for a couple.






The only picture where she looked at the camera and remained calm as I walked away from her (oh the horror, I might abandon her at the side of a railroad track. Sounds like it's from a movie).




Yay, cute picture. I redid this one cause I forgot to button my jacket for the first picture. Yay for digital!!





Ha! I love technology. It's awesome that I can take a picture and not have to be next to the camera to take the picture.






Puppy Love!! Yup, she gave me a big sloppy smooch on the lips and I LOVED it!!

New pictures

So, this is back tracking a little but I went out to Seattle and saw my family out there and wanted to post a couple pictures and then I went to Boston and saw old friends there and thought I would post a couple pictures. So here are some pictures.

It's Nice Having Someone To Come Home To...

And by someone I mean my puppy. But it's seriously awesome having her to come home to. She's not grumpy or annoyed if I have stayed out too long. She doesn't chew my shoes because I left her home alone (except one flip flop but it was two dollars from Target, so whateve's).
She's so happy to see me she LITERALLY runs to me. Not kidding folks, it's like a scene from a corny romantic comedy or an old movie or Baywatch (but we're not judging here). She runs to me and then she wags her tail and because she has a stump of a tail her bum wags and it's so cute!! And then the licking starts and she rubs her head on me and she climbs on my lap when I sit on the stairs (the only safe spot when I get home) and she tries to jump on me (jumping for joy!). Then of course she brings me a toy and begs for me to play with her and then more licking! I mean it's awesome coming home because I know no matter how long I have been gone for this is the same routine I will get every time. Who wouldn't want to come home to a happy, playful, licking, bum wagging puppy with lots of LOVE to give!

Ode to Nutella

Oh Nutella,
Why do you taste so good?
You taste good alone, on bread, with animal crackers, and graham crackers. Oh geez, you taste good with just about anything I will munch on or dip into you (including the wheat thins I finished off the other day). Why Nutella why? You are not fat free. You add pounds onto my body. I hate you Nutella!! But I love you too!! Please don't leave me!

Boston

Oh, Boston.
I don't actually miss you.
But I miss my peeps from there!
Can't wait to celebrate Maggie and Fernando's nuptials this weekend!
Here I come Boston!
Heart,
Bree

Lame Insomnia

I get a bad week of insomnia about once a year and I guess this is my week. I think it may have to do with my trip to Seattle. I was going to bed at a regular time there but when I got back here, it's two hours earlier there and I think it's messed with my sleep cycle. I've been doing like 2 AM dozing off finally the last few days. Last night I was wide awake at like four. So, I decided if I'm up, I might as well eat something yummy. Nothing says insomnia snacking like Nutella and graham crackers. Totally worth the insomnia last night. Luckily, I only slept a few hours. My hope is that I will be tired tonight from lack of sleep last night and fall asleep at a reasonable hour. We'll see. If it is another night of insomnia, I want to do something productive. Not quite sure what yet, but I'll come up with something just in case.

What's with me noticing more and more things that are annoying

This does have adult content.
So, I was watching Rotten Tomatoes today on HULU and something really bothered me (big shocker, I know). So, they were showing little kids swearing in honor of this movie coming out that had atrocious language and most of it came from a little girl. They were showing scenes from different movies where kids say swear words. Okay so obviously on TV certain words get BEEPED out. So the big one is the F word. That always gets BEEPED out on regular TV. Why doesn't the B word get BEEPED out. I'm a tad offended because I think it is a demeaning word and I would put it second worst to the F word. S*** gets BEEPED out. Why not B****? Obviously Hell and Damn don't, but regular TV you offend me. I don't like that word. I don't think it's funny that kids say that word and I'm seriously offended that THAT (awful, degrading, rude) word is not BEEPED out on Local TV or HULU for that matter. Seriously offended. I'm thinking of writing someone about it. But before I do, I wanted to vent on my blog about it. LAME!

what's with the vampire love?

Okay, I know it's a miracle, I have posted 2 times in 2 days, whateva, whateva, I do what I want! Seriously though, I was at the bookstore today getting the other three Shannon Hale book (hehe) and I was looking around all the teen and adult books...what's with the vampire love? Seriously, there are like 20 different vampire books or more in the teen section alone. I don't understad where the vampire love comes from. It's weird. I mean I will be there first to admit that I totally read ALL if the Twilight books, but it doesn't mean that I want to go to the bookstore and see a bajillion other vampire books. And I mean, didn't the writer of Twilight show us just how awful the writing can be with those kinds of books and how boring the characters in those books can be. I don't need to read a vampire book for boring, I can just pick up a Charles Dickens novel and be bored (just kidding, just kidding...sort of). Anyway, I think it's a travesty that the content of children and teen books is in this obsession of vampires. It's really lame! And it annoys me because I just want to read something decent! Why is that so hard!
>insert sticking out of my tongue at vampire books<
THE END!

Books Books, Oh how I LOVE books

seriously, I love to read. It's a little weird. I get engrossed in a book and I can't stop. I stayed up the other night until like 3 AM finishing a book. I could have finished it the next day, I just really wanted to read the rest of the book. It's all your fault Marcee! I started Goose Girl and couldn't finish. Now I want to read the other three of her series. So books for this summer:
-I've read Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse books (there's like 9 and I am on 8, I think). They're okay. I don't love them. She not a superb writer. But it gives my brain a break and they are really easy to read.
-Princess Academy by Shannon Hale. This is an easy read and a really sweet story.
-All 5 of the Percy Jackson Books. They are easy reads but I really enjoyed them.
-I'm reading Magyk by Angie Sage. I'm not addicted yet, but there s hope.
-I am trying to finish the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis. It bored me when I started it a year ago and I never finished, BUT the movie is coming out and I like to read the books I watch. Then I get to be critical of the movie more (makes movie watching so much more fun). For the record, I loved the other Narnia books I have read, I just haven't been able to get into this one.
-Still in the middle of Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens. I don't love it but I don't hate it. I just need to finish it!
-I have a couple other books on my list for this summer: Arguing with God (my best friend's father wrote this book and I really want to read it), the rest of the second book of Taylor Branch's that I started a year ago and decided to take a break from. Good book, difficult content. It's about the Civil Right's Movement and some of the information is difficult to read), A Vintage Affair by Isabel Wolf (it's sounds cool, picked it up at the book store when I read the outline. It has vintage clothing in the book, not gonna lie, that may have been my motivation for buying the book. Don't judge me, I love clothes!!), The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho ( I liked The Alchemist, it's my favorite book. But he's let me down with other books, so we'll see how this one does). Narritive of the Life of Fredrick Douglass, an American Slave (don't ask, impulse buy that I will read), Alice in Wonderland (felt like reading it), and The Secret Garden (another impulse buy! Don't JUDGE me!)
Okay, that's a long list but considering I read a book or two a week, I should be able to handle the LIST! Any other good books people can throw my way? If you can't tell I love teen and kids books and have no issues telling people I read them. I love deep and intellectual books. You tell me a book is good, I will (probably) read it! Okay, I'm off to read!

P.S.

New pics of the pup!!



She makes the weirdest faces at you







Stole my spot on the bed!








Loves her toys!






She sits funny












mohawk hair






loves to watch out the window and "woof" at stuff

Poor Nori

Poor Nori has gone into "heat." It's not fun on both sides. She's being moody. She's being needy. She's being more silly then usual. I don't know what to do with this silly pup. Not only that, she gets super embarrassed when I put her diaper on (cause I don't want her bleeding around the house). She'll run away and like sway her butt and then sit on it cause she doesn't like wearing the diaper. Not gonna lie, makes me laugh out loud every time she does it!! But I feel bad for me. Last night she was so needy she slept in bed with me and she had to cuddle the whole night. If I moved she would move so she was at least touching one part of my body (even if it was my toes). I feel bad for her and ME. I can't wait for this to be over.
On a side note. The other night my mom ad I were talking about creating a new hybrid dog. We thought we would breed a Bouvier (Nori) with a poodle and we could call it a: BoPo, BovPo, BoviePo...Any thought on a name for this new hybrid. I'm tempted to breed Nori with a Poodle and see what they look like. Will they be cute or just really weird looking (BUT they will be hypoallergenic dogs because Bouvier and Poodles have hair not fur! Whoot Whoot!) I could create a new craze of hybrid dogs and become rich!! Just Kidding. Sort of, I still really want to see what these hybrids would look like!

Road to Recovery

I haven't posted in a while. I thought I would do a quick post with an update of Maggie and then do a couple posts later today of other events that have happened.
So, Maggie is on the mend. She's doing quite well all things considered. She can walk around and lift heavy objects like my puppy. Considering it was only a few weeks ago that she was in the hospital we think her recovery is going well. She still gets tired from every day things. Her ears are really sensitive to noise. She blacks out sometimes when she stands up every now and then. But she is being monitored by like two doctors and she goes to occupational and speech therapy twice a week. So, she's on the path of recovery. We don't know how long it will be or when she will be back to her full capacity but I know she will get there. She's a strong one, that Maggie. She's still staying at the hotel of Casa La Faleschini (mom and dad's house). But that just means we get a lot of sister time :D
We have had so much support and love and we are all thankful for it. And continue to give thanks for it. I think this will be the end of my Maggie updates (seeing that she is doing so well). I do think we are going to put together a little book of all the events and things that Maggie said while in the hospital so that she has something to look back on and remember what she went through and all the people that love her and supported her through it.
Thus is the end of my writings of the misfortunes of Maggie and her viral meningitis /encephalitis shenanigans :)

It keeps going

So, Maggie is getting better. It's still going to be slow, but she's getting there. I'm in Boston, so I am getting daily updates from my Mother. The beginning of this week when she was transferred to the Neurology Unit, she was still getting agitated and confused at night. My mom slept at the hospital a couple nights because of that. But from my update today, my mom said she has been completely with it the last few days. She is even getting visitors. Stacy from church went in on Monday. Chelsea stopped by yesterday (I think) for a bit. And Maggie's friend Andrew was going to stop by today. She is answering text messages now on her own. (Before, I was answering them for her. Poor people who were texting and calling were getting messages from me that Maggie wouldn't be answering for a little while). I don't think she can talk on the phone. But she is texting. She is going to be moved to the Physical therapy Unit next. It looks like she could still have a good ten to twelve days in the hospital. But that's good news because a week ago they didn't have estimation for her getting out of the hospital. And it could still be a long recovery after leaving the hospital. Even with the long recovery time, I think we can all start to breath a little easier. Still blown away from all the support and love we have felt from everyone. Thank you so much!

slow road

This is going to be a slow road of recovery. Maggie got transferred out of the ICU. Yay! But she's still not there yet. The Doc's do believe she will recover fully from this, but they think the recovery time could last about two months. So, this could take a while. I saw Maggie on Saturday morning and she seemed okay. She does really well in the morning and then the early evening she starts to get worse...more delusional and agitated. She will try to get out of bed, when she can't take more then a few steps on her own. She is starting Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy today. So that could help the recovery.
I am leaving today to go to a wedding in Boston. And my dad has to leave for a business trip that could not be missed (isn't he awesome. through all of this he has been juggling work and going to the hospital. He doesn't miss a beat and is always there to help out my mom when she needs a break from the hospital. What a great guy!) I worry about leaving my mom. She will be all alone from tonight until Wednesday night! But she has lots of people looking out for her! Thank heavens for church! Her friend is bringing her lunch today (Linda you Rock!). And a friend will go and sit with Maggie this afternoon, so my mom has a break. Then tomorrow a friend is going to sit with Maggie in the morning. And we have people who are helping with the puppy while I am gone. It's so amazing to have this help from all these people! I don't know how we would do it if we didn't have support from our church!
I think my MOM is Superwoman too! She's doing tons of stuff and working on mail and taking care of Maggie and doing what she can with the puppy when she has time, and still listening to me and checking in with my sister-in-law (who is pregnant). She really is awesome! So, that's the update for now...Maggie is getting better but it is slow, mom and dad are both rock stars, and we really appreciate everyone who wants to help, has helped, and will help. Thanks for your love and concern!

Getting Better

She's slowly making her way to recovery, but it verrrryyyyyy sllllloooowwww. She been hallucinating and sometimes she gets very agitated. Like she wanted to get out of the bed tonight but my dad kept telling her she had to stay in it and she got really mad at dad. It's easier for her to get mad at the parents then the nurses. But she still has her sense of humor and she laughs at some jokes (depending on her mood). The Dr.'s seem to think she is slowly progressing. They feel good about her recovery. They said it's not uncommon to have delirium with what she has.

Jake, our brother, flew in to see her. It's really nice to have him here. It's probably nice for her to get a break from the regular people in her room ;)

So, we are hopeful and continue to pray that she progresses more and more every day. They aren't saying exactly when she can go home. But it may be sooner then we thought. We just have to wait and see.

Again, thanks to everyone's support. It's been amazing having people respond in such a way! Warms our hearts! And Maggie appreciates all the love and support as well!

A Not So Bad Day

So, we woke up well rested, which was nice. But last night we sat down, my mother, father and I and sorted out who was going to the hospital what hours. Then we knelt and said a Family Prayer. You know, I missed that. All alone at the house I don't say Family Prayer. I say my own prayers. It made me nostalgic for when we were younger and would kneel in a circle of three young boys and two young girls and two parents and sometimes a nanny or grandmother thrown into the circle and said Family Prayer. I'm excited for my own little family some day that I can do that with cause it felt really really good.
Anyway, we worked out the plan for today and put it forth. I took the first shift this morning. I went from 10 AM until 2 PM. When I got there, Maggie was up and somewhat coherent, which surprised me. So, I went over her facebook page and mine and told her the messages that people had been leaving. I thought it would make her feel good. We maybe got through half of them (that's how many people out there love her and are sending her good wishes! makes me tear up a little thinking about it. Not to mention the people that have called. It's incredible the love we have felt from all of you out there.) Anyway, I digress. So we were able to talk for about 20-30 minutes. But then she started to get sleepy and doctors started to come in and bother her and she got a little agitated for about an hour. The Neurology Doctors are my least fav. They bug me! But I think it is just because they think they are so awesome (another side note: when Maggie was up and talking we were totally making fun of the one Neuro doctor that had come in the day before and asked her how she was feeling! It was funny to hear her talk about it). She can't remember everything and everyone that has been there. But this morning, she remembered the Hansen's visiting her and she was really glad that they were able to come by and visit with her. So, she finally fell asleep at like noon and was asleep for the rest of my shift. So, I just sat there and played solitaire for two hours. Then Dad came and took my place.
It seems as though the afternoon went well. Dad said he was able to have two 30-40 minute conversations with Maggie where she was fairly coherent. They talked about what's happened to her, about catching up on school work, etc. So the afternoon seemed to go better then the morning.
In the evening, my mother took over for my father. She went with the intention of working on Maggie's hair. We never braided it and so unfortunately it turned into a ball of hair. Mom was able to detangle a good chunk of it and we will just have to continue to work on it (Thank you Linda and MaryAnne (sorry if I spelled that wrong) for getting that stuff for Maggie's hair! So So nice of you!!!) Maggie was also able to have a conversation with Mom.
So, she's more coherent, can retrieve some events over the last few days, can hold a 30 min conversation with you, and seems to be starting to make a recovery. The Doctors are taking care of her. The ICU Dr won't let her be alone at all because he promised my mom she wouldn't be. He's kept his promise by having a nurse's aid in there at all times with her. So, that helps my mother sleep easier at night. The other Dr's are working to figure her stuff out.
I think the prayers, Good JuJu, Vibes, Thoughts, Love, Etc. are working. We just pray that she continues to recover a little every day.
The love we have felt has I think lifted us in our lowest moments. We thank you all for that. Keep up your prayers, etc! I know it is working! Thank you all for your amazing support!

Yet Another Day

Sunday Cont: Elder and Sister hansen from our Family Ward went and visitied with Maggie. Sister Hansen sat down next to her and talked with her. Pretty sure that conversation did not flow in the way it should have due to Maggie's disorientation, but really sweet of Sister Hansen to do so. She also got visited by Jerry and Brenda Armstrong who went to the hospital right after they flew back into town. I think most of the visiting is for my parents right now. Especially my mom is not doing so great. I think it is taking all her strength to not sit down and cry.
Monday: Not doing so great today. She 's not really responding that well and she's not interacting. But what's amazing is through this entire experience she has not lost her sense of humor! She still will sneak in a joke or two here or there. I usually just think it is funny because she's being a little sarcastic with the doctors. Like one of the doctors today walked in and was like "Hi Maggie, How are you?" She kind of looks at him like, "Um, duhr! Not doing so great. That's why I'm in the hospital." So, I just think she still has her sense of humor and I am glad for that. Linda Sarles (one of my Mother's friends from our Family ward here in MN) came and visited with my mother in the hospital today.
Maggie still wasn't doing well today. her sodium level dropped and the doctors sent her to the ICU (Intensive Care Unit), which is freaking the daylights out of my mom! But they are just trying to stay ahead of this. It was actually a good thing. This gave both parents the opportunity to take the night off and get some sleep. Mom has been sleeping at the hospital at nights, and so she's barely getting four hours of sleep at night. The nurse was very nice but politely told us to leave and she would call if there was any trouble. She also said she really didn't think she would need to call. Since Maggie is the ICU she has a nurse or an aid constantly with her and watching her and her stats. So, I think this helps us all take the night off to rest. So, for now we wait and see what will happen tomorrow. I just keep praying that she will show just a little bit of recovery so we can all start to breath a little easier. But the continued love and support from so many people is just incredible. It makes my heart get a little mushy knowing there are all these people out there who care about Maggie and are saying prayers for her and send her good JuJu (as Courtenay her cousin said this afternoon) and thoughts and vibes and energy. We are grateful for all of this! Thank you!

It all started with a Migraine

It all started with a migraine about a week and a half ago. Maggie, my sister, got a migraine, which is weird for one who does not get migraines. When day four of the migraine occurred, my father was called from a weepy sister that she needed to go to urgent care. And so it began...
Sunday: Urgent care
Monday: the ER-where they gave her migraine meds and and IV and then sent her on her way after five hours
Tuesday: when said migraine had still not gone away, went back to Urgent Care and had to wait for an hour in the waiting room and then the STUPID nurse sent us to the ER which was really frustrating because we had been sitting there for an HOUR!! No one said anything to us the whole time and we wasted all that time there! Whatever! I'm over it! So then we went round two in the ER for four hours where they gave her more migraine meds and and IV again and then sent us on our way promising this would be our last visit there.
Wednesday: Mom flies into town because Dad left early that morning and if this contagious at all, I can't be around her that much. Not to mention, I can't do the kind of nursing that Mothers do best!
Thursday: follow Dr appointment with Primary Care Physician (PCP), he immediately sends her to the hospital admitting her. Doesn't see a Dr all day!!
Friday: Finally a Dr!! They rule out bacterial meningitis, H1N1, and migraine. Her PCP comes that night because of the grave situation she is in that evening. By this point Maggie is completely incoherent. She can't have a conversation with you at all. She has no idea where she is or who is there with her. She wakes up with fits and cries, is barely sleeping because of the pain in her head, and she's getting progressively worse. Frank and Jake Hartranft from our Family Ward come and give Maggie a blessing with my Dad. Very sweet blessing. Catherine Howell from the Family Ward submitted Maggie's name into the Temple Prayer List. And I have asked family and friends to Pray for her. It's starting to get scary.
Saturday: Midnight they roll her down for an MRI to look for a blood clot in her brain. The result comes at 2 or 3 AM that her brain is clean. At 10 AM they do a spinal tap and she is found to have Viral Meningitis with atypical symptoms. They start her anti-viral medicine right away and expect her to start building her own antibodies by Wednesday this week about 14 days after she first started to get symptoms. She's still not great, but we thought she would start to get better in a day or two.
Sunday: fever throughout the night and in the morning. And then there apparently are complications with the cocktail of meds they are giving her. She is having reactions to them and so now Maggie has been transferred to a new unit where she will have consistent and constant care and they will start to detox her of some of the meds hoping that it will take away the confusion, and irritation she has.
She's still not out of the woods as we hoped she would be today. But her blessing was sweet and we can turn to that. Sometimes our time line isn't Heavenly father's time line. Not always the easiest lesson to be taught when someone you love is in pain and sick. But we have faith in the Lord and his plans. The outpouring of love from family all over the world (like Saleit's family in Israel, Pete and Amanda in Utah, Jake and Martha in WA, and of course Saleit and Isaac here in MN), and old friends, new friends, ward families from the past, and our current ward families in MN and FL have been such a blessing. We're so grateful to everyone! Hopefully this trial will pass and Maggie will start to mend. Thanks to everyone! Keep us in your prayers!

Puppy!!

The puppy is getting bigger and more feisty!! She has decided that socks from the laundry room are her toys and the cat is really fun to bounce around and bother. Poor Napolean :(

But she is super cute and very patient with me right now. She goes into her crate perfectly whenever I need her to. Other then a little whining when she goes in, she's pretty good about it. She has the cutest bark it is this really low "woooof". It almost sounds like a burst of air coming out of her because it's low and you can barely hear it.

So she's adorable and I still heart her! Yay!



Do I have something on my face?







Playing in the snow.







In WI.










In WI. She was looking out the screen porch at someone outside.











Sniffing for the pine comb (she doesn't have a very good nose)







Playing with a pine comb






Does my Butt look big?

stupid body

So...the endometriosis is back. This blog entry is not for people who can't handle hearing about girly issues.
It's back in full force. It decided to ruin my weekend of bliss out in Wisconsin last weekend. It made me so tired, I slept for an entire day last week. And my body could barely move for another two days. The only reason I got out of bed and went for walks was because I have a puppy who needs it. Thank heavens for that puppy or I would be in a low place right now. It made my stomach believe it wasn't really a stomach and made my colon think it was working when in fact it was not. It congested my body, has made my heart rate uncontrolable and it has made me moody, annoyed at everything, and seriously delusional (not in a crazy way, just a PMS sort of way). My body is seriously stupid.
Sooo...tomorrow I go in for a lupron shot. For those of you who don't know what that is, it means I am getting serious drugs pumped into my body so that it will stop the endometriosis from growing and give my immune system time to go in, wherever it is (cause we don't know), and fight it. To do this, it sends my body into a pre-menopausal state. Which means I will probably get hot flashes, be moody, I have to take hormones (because my body won't produce them) to help fight these symptoms. This is how my body will be for the next six months. It kind of sucks. I'm not gonna lie.
But the alternative is another laparoscopy. Or birth control. Another laparoscopy is ridiculous because the lupron does the same thing. It can even fight the endometriosis in places my docotor couldn't (like if it is attached to my colon, which there is a really good chance it is because of my symptoms and we found abrasions, or scar tissue, on my colon in the last laparoscopy.) My doctor can't laser it off there because she could hurt my colon, so lupron would be a better choice if that is the case. It apparently likes my colon. Yay for me. Birth control would not fight it quickly enough. So imagine really intense nausea for like six months while the birth control tries to fight off the endometriosis. I want the nausea gone TODAY!
So, I realize this is a sensitive subject and not everyone wants to hear about it. But it's happening to me and I feel like if I write it down, it's not so bad. And then it's out there in this internet abyss and people can read it and other women who have been through the same thing or have felt the way I do can relate to me and my stupid body.
It sucks though because I am 26 years old. I got sick a little before my 23rd birthday. I've lived most of my twenties being sick and your twenties are supposed to be the best years where you have adventures and you travel and you do things you've never done before and define who you are and what you want to do with your life. I feel like I got a little ripped off. My twenties are soon to be over and I feel like it wasn't what I wanted it to be. But in other ways I feel like being sick has made me more empathetic, and kind, and closer to my Heavenly Father in ways I never knew imaginable.
So...I'm thinking the trade off was worth it...most days :)

Getting Lost!

So, I am directionally impaired. I am not joking. Everywhere I go, I get lost. If you don't believe me, ask the guy at the gas station in Miami where I had to pull over and ask for directions, or one of the many people I asked directons from in Boston, Minneapolis. Just the other night I got lost in Minneapolis! Minneapolis! My home city! It's pretty pathetic. I got GPS on my phone when I lived in Boston just so I wouldn't have to pull over and ask for directions anymore. Or my other routine is I get so turned around that I pull over, have a good cry, and then figure out where I am and find my way home. When I lived in Boston, this happened on like a daily basis the first six months. The rest of the time it still happened at least a few times a month :)
So, I was out in Wisconsin this past weekend with some friends at a cabin and I needed to take my dog on a walk. I had walked on the trail around the lake once before but I was with people. This time I was alone and got turned around on one of the trails and ended up 3 and 1/2 miles away from where I was supposed to be on some random road. I thought about turning around in the trail but the woods were freaking me out and I didn't want to get lost going back. So I pulled out my iphone and was able to map where I was and where I wanted to be. (Thanks heavens I remembered the address of the cabin!). I was 3 1/2 miles away and the only thing I could do was walk it. So, I walked back to the cabin and poor Nori went through all of this with me. I don't know if she will ever trust my direction as dog walker ever again!
I'm just so glad my iphone worked out in the boonies of Bruce, WI and I could find my way back. Whew!

I HEART MY PUPPY!

Not gonna lie, we got off to a rough start. The first two nights I got less then 8 hours of sleep total (not including the interruptions of walking her between 3 and 5 AM). The next two weeks were about waking up in the middle of the night and walking her, which meant splitting up my sleep. For me that makes functioning on the difficult side :) But we managed to get through it and now she sleeps until 8-ish in the morning! So I can get about 7 hours of sleep a night.
The first week Napolean would just watch her (mostly eye her from a distance). Then he started to walk up to her and hiss. It was kind of funny. Then he would puff himself up so he was bigger then her (He was at the time). Now she is taller then him. But now he is back to sleeping in bed with me. He watches her play on the floor from chairs or the bed. Every now and then he will swat at her and hiss...just to let her know he still runs this house. In the morning if she is rustling around in her play pen, I will stick her on bed with us to sleep until I can wake myself up to walk her. He stays on the bed and puts up with her. So I would say Napolean is adjusting nicely...faster then I thought he would.
She is very good at sitting and she is okay at lying down. I have to work more on that one. She sits before we leave the house and come into the house and she's getting good at that; so good that a large amount of time I don't have to say it anymore. She walks on a leash nicely. But she can be a slow poke some times. And she is afraid of cars. She also gets freaked out by the neighborhood dogs when we go on walks. I don't blame her (they are pretty annoying dogs). I keep telling her to wait. When she is full grown she will be able to kick all those dog's boh-tay's! She is still having issues with the crate and separation from me. But we are working on it and she'll get there eventually. I just have to keep telling myself to be patient.


She really likes Napolean's toy mice. I keep having to take them away from her.







He was observing her play from a safe distance







Cute face!







These were taken after her first appointment to the groomer's. She looked like a Bouvier when she came out of there.














Licking the snow








Playing in the snow!!





After a bath. She hates baths and whines a lot. But she is getting better at them







I love her ears. They are super goofy right now and flop all over the place! LOVE IT!

January Rocks

I LOVE January!! This has already been a great month. It was tough but great. I started off the end of December with a new puppy. She is a Bouvier des Flandres and I heart her already even though she is lacking some bladder control and hates her kennel (all will come with patience). She is really cute most of the time and she loves me. It's nice having the unconditional love of a dog. Even when I yell "NO" at her for doing stuff that she's not allowed to do (like chew on the chairs, chase after the cat, pee on the floor, go in the family room, whine at me when she is in her bed area...well you get the picture). She is really cute and she already has "lie down," "touch," and sometimes "sit." It's super funny when she does sit cause she does it and then slides down on the wood floor. Awwww, I love my puppy. Her name is Nori (short for Noriko). I have this weird love of everything Japanese. I don't know why, I just do! So, that's Nori.




This is cute Nori





She really likes to play with her toys









She was using my leg as a toy to jump over and run around.






The kitty is actually kind of getting used to her. He definitely lets her know who is boss, but he's not minding her so much now (he really likes her because of her puppy food and puppy treats).



I did my first night of a stake event that my calling was in charge of for new year's. I've decided I like holidays better when I don't have to be the one planning the event. It makes it less fun. But it was really cool. We had blow up stuff all over the gym at church. We had sumo wrestling suits, and a bungie cord one, and a wrecking ball, and a boxing court, and my personal favorite was the obstacle course. Way too much fun! I loved that obstacle course, and true love lasts a life time. So that was an interesting way to ring in the new year. I'm not gonna lie, I missed the traditional night I spend with Ali and her parents and their friends and the crazy hats at their place. But it was a fun new way to do new year's eve.

Lastly, I PASSED my licensure exam for social work. It was one of the scariest things I have ever had to do. I don't know why I fear testing so much, but I do. This test was just weighing on my shoulders. It's scary when your future is held up by one thing, a stupid test. I don't thnk the test really tells the association of social work board whether or not I will really be a good social worker. But I passed it and I don't have to worry about another one of these until I go in for my LICSW, which could be at least two years from now. I usually have this ritual of throwing out my note cards, but I saved them for the next test. It has similar content in it. So next time I can just pull those old babies out of a box and get back into the studying mood ;)

Now I have to update my resume, get intouch with all those supervisor's I once had and ask for their reference, and find a job. But I am going to leave all that stuff for next week. Right now I am just going to enjoy the fact that the test is taken and passed, I have congratulations balloons on the table from my parents (thanks mom and dad), and I have great friends AND amazing family who have helped me prepare for my test. So far (and I am only in 5 days), I would say January kind of rocks!!