So, I never post anymore because I don't really feel like all that much is going on in my life and the things that are going on like work I can't talk about or talk about the people I work with due to disclosure agreements. When you work in the social work field you have to leave what happens at work there because you're not supposed to talk about your clients (especially those in therapy with you). So I generally can't talk about that. But today I was reflecting on what we have been exploring this month with our seniors at the senior center groups. We've been discussing grief and loss. What a fun group, eh. But oddly enough it has been a great group with open discussion and really thoughtful insights about the subject. And although I can't discuss the group or the awesome people in the group I can discuss my thoughts and reflections on this subject.
I think the idea of grief and loss have always scared me to openly discuss because of the pain I have had in a couple of losses. And as we've talked about loss in the groups we're not just referring to the loss of a friend or loved one, but also the loss of health (which is pertinent to seniors) and also the loss of an ability or retirement can be a loss. So there are many different types of losses that we can have. I was also scared to talk about them because of the feelings that I thought I would open up and feel after exposing myself to these subjects and the fear of not being able to cover it back up...I think what I'm trying to say is that I was scared I would start to cry and not able to stop. That's a very scary idea for me.
So today we gave out a worksheet and asked people in the group to fill it out and then if they felt so inclined it was open to share their thoughts and feelings about this topic. And so I filled it out and thought it would be cathartic to share into this great abyss of the internet. And perhaps my thoughts and feeling are similar to someone out there...or they could be completely different...who knows...So here I go:
Identify three losses you have experienced during your lifetime.
1.My grandmother Helen Smith
2. My loss of health and abilities I once was able to do
(I could only think of two)
What have you learned about yourself through each of those losses?
-when my grandmother passed away I learned how much she actually meant to me and the role she played in the decisions I made due to her love and compassion. I also learned how caring for her when I was younger created the empathy I would later use in therapy with clients
-I never thought about my physical health until I lost it. I found that I had to find the strength to get up every morning and also the spiritual strength I didn't know was there until I had to turn to it.
How has your life changed since the loss?
-Missing my grandmother, not having her to turn to for help and love and emotional support.
-I haven't been able to be as active as I was had been and I also have to be extra careful with my body when I travel, when I do exercise, and when I don't feel well. I've had to learn how to take a break and sometimes say 'no.'
Identify people in your support system who have or can help you with the changes in your life.
-mother, father, immediate family, friends who I trust, a therapist at one point
What strengths have you discovered in yourself.
-strength from with in
-the ability to bounce back
-to be resilient amongst serious challenges
-spiritual strength I had not identified before
What feeling about the loss surprised you?
-guilt, anger (not necessarily surprising, but my grandmother was my first real loss in my lifetime so it was my first experience with those feelings).
What would you imagine might help you most with coping with the loss?
-Talking about it
-Writing about it
-Holding on to my spirituality that I discovered through it
So as you can see this is a very tough subject especially with seniors who are losing spouses and friends all the while just waiting and then losing abilities and losses with hearing and sight. I have a profound new respect for these seniors. I love every minute I get to spend with them. After talking about this subject in our groups I feel as if I have learned so much from them and I am supposed to be the teacher. I wish I could share some of their ideas I have written down but alas I cannot. But perhaps this could open someone up to talking with their grandparent or elderly neighbor and learning about them and recognizing their strengths.
Anyway, I heart my job and the people I get to serve!
